It's been awhile....

It has been so long since I updated but I feel like I am just waking up after a long coma. Since the loss of my job and the attack of my animals I have been so depressed that I have been barely keeping up with the family and animal needs. Now that I am working again and pursuing legal action against both the Hospital for discrimination and the man who let his dog kill my animals I feel like I am getting better.
     I also went to the doctor and got some new medication for the constant pain I am in. I haven't been on it long but I am noticing it helps me to walk better. Any lessening of the pain is bonus. I am working weekends at Outback and still enjoying it.
    We have had a lot of upheaval this year. The squatters nearly ruined us financially but now we have great renters so that is good. The financial fun continues with both the fireplace and the furnace going kablooey at the same time. So for this winter we do not have a working heater. All is not lost, we do have space heaters and a pellet stove in the basement but if we lose electricity it is going to get quite chilly. The good news is it has been an amazingly mild winter but that is also a bummer because I love snow and cold but it might be bad to get hit by a big storm. I will probably get a kerosene heater for backup but I am terrified of them since we got carbon monoxide poisoning from one when I was a kid.
     The worse part of the depression has been my apathy for farming. It was what I was living for in Colorado. The feeling I would get when Colleen and I learned something new or made a meal out of something we grew or raised was amazing. Of course, having a friend that loved farming as much as I did made all the difference. I miss that the most. The weather was so bad from July to November that my joy in being outside was ruined. I am hoping so much that this spring and summer will be mild and we will have a real fall. It rained so bad during September that most of the leaves fell while still green. Very Disappointing.
   So things are starting to look up and I am trying to keep positive. Hopefully I will be in a farming mood by spring.

Middle of October...Wow!

This month has fairly flown by. I have a new Job at the Outback. I love eating there and now I love working there. It is too bad I feel like my feet are crushed and on fire...that puts a damper on things. I feel like I have had the worst 6 months ever. There has been so many hard times and disappointments. My neighbors dog come on the property and in 1 week it killed 5 sheep and 3 alpacas. I do not know if I will see any compensation but I am out about 10k in expenses.  I had panic attacks every time I had to go outside because I was afraid to see what else had happened. The animal control people got the dog so at least that is over.
    We had non paying squatters in our house in Colorado so that has almost killed us financially. It is hard to believe people can stand themselves when they are such losers. We finally got their deadbeat butts out and now we have a great family, and our former neighbors, living there. They are great people and I am so happy they are there. Now that we will be getting rent again, and I have a job, I think things will start looking up soon.
  I have been a mess since I was unfairly fired by the hospital for being disabled. I just can not believe they did that but I am now dealing with it. I like my serving job at Outback and I still love the food.
   I am not sure what to do about the farm. I only have 1 sheep left and they don't do well alone. The rest of my alpacas are good so far but I am so discouraged that I am not sure I want to continue. Farming was so fun when I had Colleen. Farming without a partner, especially one who is a therapist, just doesn't feel the same.  I will continue praying about this situation and see if this is something I should still do.

Septermber Already

The kids are in school and I am looking forward to a long and colorful fall. I am not a fan of summer and this one has tried all my patience. September holds a lot of promise for me. It will get cooler, there will be a lot of veggies to learn to can, and I am a tiny bit embarrassed to admit but my favorite show, The Vampire Diaries, comes back on. There hasn't been a Show this interesting since Veronica Mars. I just ordered the second season of The Vampire Diaries and I am watching the first season again just to get into the continuity of the thing.
   I have a ton of work to do and so little motivation to do it. The barn needs to be cleaned, the weeds pulled, an enormous amount of fencing, trim and weed the flowerbeds, throw away a lot of trash in the yard and lots more. That is not even counting the inside chores. I can see why Farmers have usually had a large family, so there are more hands to help.

This is my cat Gracie, she thinks she is my hat.

Summer is almost over...Thank Goodness!!

I have been sort of floundering since I was fired last month. It had been hard to deal with giving 100% of yourself and it not being enough. I have filed a discrimination suite against the hospital under the Americans with Disabilities Act so hopefully that will work out in time. Meanwhile I can not figure out anything I can do for a job that I can do physically that I am also qualified for.
   In the midst of all that one good thing happened, I had a very cute little alpaca boy born. Now I am waiting for 3 more to give birth. I hope for healthy first then female. I have way too many boys. 

The baby's name is I like you a latte. The kids have started school. My high school son, Jack, is doing very well. He is very less than social but at least his grades are good. My 5th grader, Mason, had to go to a new school this year because of redistricting. So instead of going 3 miles to school now he has 15. It is NOT cool. But he seems to think the playground is better so I guess it makes it even??    

It's Complicated

I doubt this link will work, because I do not know what I am doing.

A Whole Ball Of Crap

So in the last 2 weeks here is what has been going on...
 I worked my regular schedule until Wednesday the 13th. On Wednesday I have my first employee update on how I am doing with My boss Leanne. She said I was doing well but I needed to focus a bit and not talk with the patients so much. She said she had plans for me to be the only phlebotomist on the shift soon and that freaked me out because I didn't think I was ready since I had only had 3 weeks on the job. She showed me a cheat sheet on some computer things and I practiced so I felt much better about that by Friday. I worked until 11 on friday and then when I came home I couldn't sleep. Around 3 am I finally got ready for bed and turned out the light. As soon as I did the hospital called and they begged me to work the 4-6 AM shift. So after no sleep, I came in so no one would be over swamped with work. It went really well and I went home tired but happy that I could help. Monday and Tuesday went fine at work but one of my alpacas died of heatstroke. I was very upset because she was a pregnant female so I spent the very hot morning burying her then I went to work. When I got to work I start doing some lab stuff and my boss asks to speak to me. Then she FIRES me! With no warning, no reprimands of any kind...just bye. I asked why and she said I was too slow. Since I didn't have any way of knowing how fast She wanted me to be I asked for more detail. She was quite vague and I reminded her that I was disabled with my poor feet and back,but she said she knew that and it didn't make any difference. I am pretty sure that goes against the Americans with Disability Act. So now I am looking for a lawyer and filing a discrimination charge on them. Hopefully it will work out. I gave that job my best and It was unfair that they fired me for no good reason,
   The really annoying thing is they could have made accommodations for me. I could have worked night shifts because they are quieter, or I could have worked in Blood Draw where I wouldn't have to walk all over the hospital. i don't know why they didn't try to find something for me rather than just firing me and hiring and training someone new.
   I will write more in a bit....

My Day Off

I have been working the 4am to 1 pm shift at work and I am tired!! Today was my day off but I had to go to the hospital at 7:30 to get an ultrasound. I have been having stomach pain and gaining weight like I am mainlining Twinkies (but I am not) so I hope they can figure out whats wrong. I don't like being a patient, my entire family are terrible patients.
     My Dad had to spend nearly a month in ICU and he thought he was in prison camp and kept trying to escape. if it weren't for my incredible brother Andy, I am pretty sure Dad would have been put in the Psych Ward. Even with Andy there, dad kept trying to get out of bed and pulling out tubes. Andy was so traumatized by the experience he went to Afghanistan for a break.

These guys have to start helping around the house!!

   Since I am working, not much is getting done around the house. I am definitely going to write a chore list for the boys. I think they can do laundry and dishes. That would take a major load off me.